Everything Comes & Goes

Michelle Branch has a new EP out..."Everything Comes & Goes"...her first solo album since 'Hotel Paper'....she's someone I've loved for a long time, heck, even followed her foray into the country music scene with Jessica Harp, whom I also love. One of the reasons I love Michelle so much is her songwriting ability. Few artists have made more sense to me, through verse, than she has. She's been there in my happiest of moments, and she's been there through my saddest of moments. There are times I have a pure elation when I hear her, and there are times I just wanna break down and cry upon hearing her voice. My favorite song of all time, is a Michelle Branch song. The lyrics to that song ring more true than any song I've ever heard, and I've heard a lot of songs. It's for reasons like this, that I love her so.

Everything comes & goes....waited years for this album to come out. Waited nearly as long seemingly for those lyrics to be proven wrong. In my own life, I'm suffering through that right now. I came to the realization a long time ago that everything, does in fact, come and go...that's life anyways isn't it? Whether we're talking about family that eventually die, or your job...or anything really. It all ends up the same...coming, then going. While we're alive anyways, it's nice when things come...and stay. It's even nice sometimes when they come, then go, then return. What isn't nice, is that sometimes things come, and go, and stay gone. Worse still, things come, then go, then come, and then stay, but in a different capacity than what you're used to. Yes, I talk in circles. I'm the king of circumvention when it comes to writing blogs. Oh well.

What happened today really should make me elated. Something that went, came back. Just so happens it's not making me happy. I feel in some respect, God is simply making fun of me. Teasing me even. I feel like Eve before she eats the apple...it's dangled, and that moment of temptation is both the greatest and worst feeling of joy and dread possible. Ultimately Eve eats the apple, and things turn out poorly. I had this apple dangled in front of me today, and I ate it. Though things didn't turn out as poorly for me, I feel no less sense of emptiness from eating that apple, than she did.

My sparkle, that part of me is gone. And it's not coming back. Though Holly likes to think it will one day, it's not. I thought I knew the root of the problem, where it went, who took it...but I was wrong. I learned today why it left, who it left with, and why it won't ever be coming back. I'm not really looking forward to 6 pm tonight, but alas, it's the moment I've been waiting for , for so long.

Though I've been ripe for change, I can't help but be me. That's who I am, and that's who I'll continue to be. I have pride, but I've never let pride get in the way of saying how I actually feel. Today will be no different. In fact, today, a day that really should be the most different day in a very long time, is exactly the same as yesterday, and as tomorrow will be. That's life.

~j.t.~